do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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