Sober January is a disaster.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
