high people should be assigned attendants
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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