how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
third nipple confirmed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
