Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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