Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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