Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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