i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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