i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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