did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My vagina is officially offended.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize