We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
