when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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