CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
