Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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