How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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