He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
