Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
