Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
