I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
