when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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