you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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