Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
