I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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