I'm really into asian looking animals
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
