$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
