I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
