your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
