At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
