Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
