I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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