hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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