the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
