We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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