Whod you bang
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
