You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
