I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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