Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize