They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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