We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
