You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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