i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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