I'm lost and stupid without you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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