No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
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She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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