you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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