it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
