Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
