y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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