Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
