their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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