What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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