He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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