Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
