This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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