Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
