Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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