He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
