forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
