I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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