Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
