someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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